Ann

I started reading/ hearing about Ann Barnhardt during the MF Global scandal. Ann was a broker for farmers out in the heartland and began to realize that the stock market and related industries had completely lost touch with reality. Fearing that her customers funds weren't safe, she decided to simply close her firm. She describes this decision in this interview with Peter Schiff here (as well as calling for a total boycott of Wall Street and the death penalty for Jon Corzine).

I soon learned she's also a kind of Westboro Baptist-light type fundy. There are tons of Evangelicals and fundamentalists on the "alternative right" which I seem to inhabit so it doesn't faze me. She's done stuff like burn a Quran on youtube (no one cared) and goes on and on about the Crusades and gays and Muslims on her site and on twitter. Sufficet to say, even in the now crowded field of bearish economic commentators she seems to have carved a niche for herself.

Ann doesn't have comments on her blog and doesn't allow them on her youtubes so I'm making my comments here. This video is the last quarter of a talk she gave to a bunch of people about the French Revolution. I haven't watched the whole thing because 1. I'm not that interested in the French Revolution and 2. Who even knows if it's remotely accurate. My comments are related to the last part where she brings everything around to today and our godless rap culture.

8:00 - Here's where she starts talking about how an atheist revolution of a horrible, rampaging sort could take place here today. Again, I haven't watched the whole thing but the hook of it I gather is: early 18th century France = US today.

We begin with Dan Savage and Amanda Marcotte saying some "offensive" things about the bible. It's obvious what they mean, however tackily they say it. "As bad as the people in the French Revolution were they never said such sacreligous stuff yada yada". Yeah, but that was 300 years ago and it's like...different. not that strong

10:04 - Now she's talking about rap which I think she secretly loves. She shows a picture of Lil Wayne sitting in between two girls. This is hugely offensive to her for some reason. "These girls are pieces of meat" Are we hearing some feminism here kinda? She uses this picture to again go into her argument about mass rapes happening. Lil Wayne is just sitting there. "We are hanging by a thread." okydoke.

Next there's a cute picture of a dumb guy and his girlfriend. She's bent over and he's behind her. Ann asserts that the guy is "mocking anal sex" (which would certainly offend me). She has apparently never heard of doggy style (in her defense, Ann does claim to be a virgin). It's the time honored formula of stuff with "warnings" about wild behaviour that of course show all the behaviour.

Next she shows the gif of Snooki getting punched in the face. We see Snooki getting punched in the face a thousand times. "This is our culture". Yes, everyone goes out to a bar and punches a fake Italian dwarf in the face on the weekends.

The "I'm gonna make your booty pop" kid, the New Black panthers. She shows something awful from the internet and goes "This is our culture". I could do this.

Obama is going to hire mexican drug gangs and muslims as mercenaries. and the New Black Panthers. She calls out Hillary. Hillary would torture you at Gitmo, Ann.

So I don't know. For some reason I like her but this stuff is just silly. If you're smart enough to follow and understand CNBC you're too smart to mess around with this claptrap. I'm probably a Marxist Muslim infiltrator though. See how I capitalize Marxist and Muslim out of RESPECT?

Workplace Environs

I went to the pizza/ beer work party thing out of obligation to my hardworking bosses, not because I at all wanted to go. I'd been to one before and it was silly. Almost nothing of import was discussed, it was just my one boss hearing himself talk about the shipping business which he for some reason loves. I work at work, why do I want to go to more work for free? I contented myself with stuffing my face with free pizza and beer and staring at Carrie, a MILF who unfortunately or fortunately for her works for the guys but not at the same site as the rest of us.

One of the new guys arrives and we talk, he's in a ska band or something. He tells me that Dave, who I always want to call Jason because he's somewhat fat and Jason-y, is leaving. Apparently, he got a new job somewhere (that doesn't happen around here very often these days). Dave has to be the least socially interactive person I've ever met. I've worked with him for over a year and never really had a conversation with him. I know he's a pothead and a gamer but not much beyond that. Still, he's a brother in arms and I'm sad to see him go. Meeting new drivers takes energy and our turnover is very high, etc. it's bad he's leaving.

Friday, his last day, arrives and something is off. Dave is parked in the middle of the street for one. The little area we have rented is getting full and sometimes it's hard to find a spot but I've never seen anyone just blatantly park in the street. It's not a very busy street but cars do go down it. There's definately a weird vibe but it just seems like Dave is being colorful and wacky on his last day.

He does seem rather agitated but I'm thinking it's all some ridiculous routine. I find one of his packages in my pile which happens all the time, we have the areas right next to each other. I approach him sort of smirking and say " Vine Street. Is this yours Dave?". He's positively fuming and stalks toward me like he's going to kill me and grabs the package out of my hand. I collapse in laughter.

Moments later they tell us Dave's new job had been put off for a week and this apparently was why he was so pissed off. Of course, I had no idea. I find another package that logically belonged to him. We discuss it and decide the best thing to do would be to estimate when he was the furthest distance away then call him and tell him to come back for it.

Update: He apologized on Monday. love that guy

Wendy Vainity Primer/ Quasi Article

Every morning I'm a little late to work. The worst part of my day is load in UGH. Taking the packages off the truck and putting them in order can take as long as an hour and you don't get paid for it. Something smells funny, then you start smelling everything.

Then all the sudden it will come into my head "I am a little gurl, with a curl, right in the middle of my head, lalalala la la lah!"

Welcome to Wendy's world.

At some point I started following this guy Meowsans on twitter. If you're at all familiar with twitter, he's part of that crazy abstract part of it with Horse E Books and Katie Notopoulos and those people. I don't think it has a name. It's like they live inside twitter. Anyway, he starts posting these brilliant ass videos. On the surface, they have the feel of some "outsider" art*, with normal-people sort of aspirations and even some occasional Christian themes, but they're always resolved in a ridiculous unpredictable way, kind of like a stoned Thomas Kincaide. (* It's really more outsider-ish art I guess. There's no more outsider art anymore because everyone has the internet. )

The animations are unique and ribald and hilarious but it's the music that keeps you coming back. Some of them are from some Rodgers and Hammerstein thing she downloaded but some seem to be of her own device. The most overtly catchy tune has to be the nom de song of this shirtless, terrifying farmer:

One recurrent theme is simply the technical aspects of animation. We've all come to learn about Carrera and Daz via Wendy's descriptions from tossed off genius such as this and this She is also quite busy. I subscribed to her channel and there are new vids almost daily sometimes, though you have to comb through them to find pieces like those above, many are kind of just sketches. It wouldn't be youtube without some trolls but they are more or less kept in line by Wendy herself and her army of admirers, some of whom have formed tumblrs and facebook pages.

Youtube was only invented like what 6 years ago? I don't know what Wendy would have been doing before that but it probably wouldn't have been anything I ever would have seen.

WTNG 89.9 FM: Solid Bronze compilation

I didn't listen to this album first before I bought it because I didn't realize the store I was in had a listening thing ( I'd only been there like twice). Sometimes you buy an album for what you THINK it is which is very dangerous and which you should never do and which no one has to do anymore, except me apparently. Shockingly, it was just about everything I could have hoped for! I've listened to it like a thousand times.

The page of the people who put it out does it far more justice than I will attempt as far as concept and background here. It's something like: Radio stations used to have a Battle of the Bands and the best bands would get to be on an album like this, so this is like one of those. Isn't that clever? It was released for the new national holiday Record Store Day. Every song sounds like a montage where people are rollerskating and falling in love. The lyrics all seem to say "hey, don't worry about it. STD's are just a part of growin' up nowadays". I think I actually caught something from the bassline in Cream & Sugars "Between Us".

It's pretty evenly balanced between upbeat and slow but of course, not TOO far in either direction. Caroline Peyton's "Try to be True", a jazzy Carole King -ish tune, is a quaint time capsule of the era. She asks if her lover could please try not to get with any girls while she's away, probably for like a weekend which was a lot to ask back then, I gather. It's kinda pathetic though, in any era. It's a good song though. The second half, or "side" as they used to say, gets a little moodier. Donna Kime's "Golden Pony" while somewhat cheesy (there's a line about silver dolphins or something) is more of a torchy soul song, but it fits in well enough. Lorren Cornelius's "Fantasy Woman" is also beautiful and intoxicating. At the same, you can't really have a song called "Fantasy Woman". "Fantasy Woman, you're a child in my eyes, Fantasy woman, something or other in disguise" A lot of the lyrics are kinda like that. I think people didn't pay attention in school a lot back then. I didn't either but I was like 5.

The Roach Band are the only group with a black singer. You'd figure he could school the honkeys on some Barry White type smoothness but instead they fizzle with a depressing repetitive song about a magic lamp. Greenflow's "I Gotcha", the albums sole instrumental, has a nice break that's cool the first 50 times but it gets annoying. Here I'll do it: 1,2,3 1-2,3, 1-2,3 4..I gotcha(repeat).

The rest is light, fun and even good in a besides the point ish way. I don't know when these songs were recorded exactly, it sounds like right went everyone switched over to cocaine. I wonder if legit musicians today can even play this kind of music? You have to listen to it on your day off though. It doesn't quite work any other time.

More Work Shenanigans

I was almost finished for the day. Had a delivery on Gray Cliff Street: a strange, hilly, winding, thin street in a very affluent part of Chestnut Hill. It goes up then down, so I went up then down. As I was heading down I saw there was construction going on and stopped. The flagger guy assessed the situation then pointed at me to go back. Problem: I can't go back and uphill because I have no transmission.

"Clunker" era Fords are infamous for the transmission giving out well below 100,000 miles and mine's at 74,000. Another thing that happens is your car doesn't downshift, you just neutral out when you lift your foot off the gas. If driving like this sounds insane to you realize how small the profit margin is for an independent contractor. I am on a waiting list of sorts for a transmission and am waiting for the extremely hot daughter of my mechanic to call me but I've been waiting a while.

The guy is like "you're kidding me". He tells the guy in the 18 wheeler to go back as I wave at them, laughing because what else can I do? I go down and to the left where my delivery is. My scanner conveniently drops out too, so I'm trying to turn it off then on so I can scan the package while all this hubub is going on. The lady is home doing gardening and looking at me like I'm an alien. Finally I just give her the package and back up. The dude comes back and is pissed "I thought you couldn't go backwards?" "No, I can't go backhill." a word I invented on the spot to describe going backward and uphill.

"I'll prove it to you" I say. He's game, I back up a bit onto Gray Cliff. "Okay you ready? Look" I motion to my gear showing thingy and show it's now in reverse. "Okay I've come to a complete stop." He has his hands on my downed window area, like a cop. My car starts going FORWARD a bit and he instinctively begins pushing it upwards. I start revving the gas, the car goes nowhere. "My bad" he says smiling. You ever have an altercation with someone and you think of a quip or comeback later? Mine was "No, my bad...car!"

Today at work

I'd just brought three giant heavy boxes up the stairs at some place and went back to my car and rewarded myself with an apple. I eat one or two apples a day every day because they travel well and I can't think of anything else. If they are now bad for you or something please don't tell me because I don't even care. They're there in the thing an I eat em. So I'm driving out and this idiot cab driver almost barrels into me. I kind of glare at him a little and now he's behind me which is a little awkward. That kind of stuff happens all the time. It barely registers.

Still, it's awkward when for some reason you can't get away from each other and this guy was now behind me. When we got to the street he was going left and I was going right so we were next to each other. more awkward. I see he's a little younger than me and arab then he motions for me to roll down my window. "Oh Brother" I'm thinking "What the fuck is he gonna say? Do I really have to have another useless conversation with some tough guy puffing his chest about DRIVING?" I lower my window and am like "What?" and he goes "Excuse me, do you have another apple?"

I'm like what the fuck? I fish around in the thing and pull one out and give it to him. "I love thees" he says. He then expressed concern that was this my last one and I'm thinking dude there's nothing I could care less about in this world than that apple please take it. Mind you, they are really good apples, good hard non mushy but tasty, kinda big. He was probably psyched when he ate it. "No I'm almost done it's cool". Then he asked me how to get to Comm Ave and I told him and we were like see ya later!

Avant-Garde Show

Last Friday I decided to go to the Whitehaus in JP to see some acts. I never go anywhere lately so I thought I'd go out. Theres alot of stuff in Cambridge but it's too far away. I drive for a living and I dont want to get back in the car and drive for an hour. So I found this little, ugh, scene in the Jamaica Plain and I've been to a few things.

After waking up from a drunken nap I suddenly decided I had to write an article on the hooker making fun of the Secret Service in Columbia so it was 9:30 when I finally left. These things are BYOB so I stopped at the Ruggeries market and, realizing I was hungry, also got some slices. There are 15 pizza places in my town and the idea of getting pizza someplace else is ridiculous but I didn't have much choice. I tell you what though, it was pretty good! The people were nice and there were some hot girls walking around. I live in the suburbs and the only time I see hot girls is at work when I deliver (packages) to one of the local colleges and then it's all rich white girls. You'd be surprised how much one can miss hot black and puerto rican girls. I got a dumb PBR and went over to the place. OOPS!

The events Whitehaus had promoted in the past had been at the place in the picture but tonights was at the Whitehaus itself, which I had no idea where it was. I thought back to the website and tried to see if I had any memory of the address but nothing came up. Home was 20 minutes away and my phone is just a sucko work phone and a Go phone at that. I don't access the internet on it except twitter once in while. think think. I drive into the center of JP and see "Video Undergound' a video store?? did I drive though a time machine? I go in and it's hipster ish and there are fliers including ones for the thing I want to see but they just say @whitehaus so I ask the guy.

First he tries to look it up online but he was probably looking up Whitehouse and nothing came up. Then he tried to call his friend but they weren't home. He knew it was down the street somewhere and said to ask someone who fit my general description. I go down the street, no one has heard of Whitehaus. Inevitably people answer my question with "1600 Pennsylvania avenue!" which drives me up the wall. Finally a girl directs me to Seaverns street. One house has funky looking junk in front of it so I walk over there and stumble upon what I think is a private party but no it's the dang Whitehaus!! I made it.

It's just some college kids' house (excuse me, haus) and you walk in through the living room into the basement. I went to shows like this in college, specifically Doc Hopper shows in Allston but I knew them and I was with people so I felt weird. Immediately I saw one, then two nice cats and I love cats so I played with them. Eventually, I realize the show is downstairs so I head down. Ey Koo is playing. She looks alot like an old boss of mine from the 90's. The thing for the show compared her favorably to stuff like Royal trux's "Twin Infinitives" a record I've listened to a trillion times and other Drag City / Siltbreezy stuff from the 90's. It was okay but kind of more akin to someone trying to describe Flying Saucer Attack to someone else by turning up the reverb on everything to a million. It was better than Cat power but really could have used alot less reverb. I really like this youtube of her though.

When the set ended I walked around a little. I put a (one) dollar in the thing. (The guy was gracious!) Police cars zoomed by with a futuristic woob woob sort of sound along with the siren, making everything that much more surreal. There are some cute girls but they are 12 years younger than me and what am I going to say "I'm not even sure I'm awake hi!" so I play with the cats some more. One guy carries the cat around the house on his back. The cat is very calm the whole time. People just sit and talk about the cats which is fine with me. Various lps and so forth are for sale but I heard about 10 minutes of one of the acts.

Eventually I head back down and a guy who has a wikipedia entry that looks like a scientist's has a bunch of weird hand held walkman things that are making squiggling sounds that two mics, one of which appears to be a PZM which I wish I had (mine broke). He squiggles around for a while and I lose patience. There are like a dozen people left. Sister Angela Sawyer, whose band I came to see and missed, is asleep in front of the music. I get back in the car and listen to WMBR. The rap show I'd been listening to has turned into an R n B show but its still pretty good. The song is about how this R n B guy wants to be the girl's housekeeper or something.