Sunday, July 7, 2013

Another Avant Garde Show

Since my last Avant excursion I haven't had much luck with the world of word of mouth things. They're really kind of a pain. A lot of times you can't figure out what the address even is. They have their place but all things being equal, I'd rather just go to a regular venue. I'd pretty much given up when I saw this one Having done absolutely nothing all day I figured I'd go check it out.

It'd been a long time since I'd been downtown. Chinatown, which was kind of my stomping grounds in college has always been a shithole but now it's an empty shithole. Saturday Night at dinner time was virtually empty. I stopped in at some place and a tired woman gave me a gigantic amount of shrimp fried rice. blah blah blah then I go to the show

This particlar venue is right above a homeless shelter on Kingston street across from The Good Life (irony) cafe. An extremely attractive woman let me in and lead me into an immaculate loft style apartment. I see Angela Sawyer and apologize for insinuating that I was her friend (what I told the hot host lady) rather than just a customer at her store. Max, Ellen's husband, is also very good looking. He's a keyboard player or something and has the most impressive collection of gear I've ever seen. 2 racks full of knobs and whistles, compressors, noise delay, buttons and on and on. There are Chinese lanterns hanging from the ceiling. place is fucking dope.

I don't know if this is her.

I start talking to 3 girls. One of them has a story about eating a PCP ( ! ) laced brownie. I tell everyone else I talk to her story because I got nothing. I deliver packages for Amazon , dogs hate me what am I gonna say? One of the girls seems like a lot of fun and I'm starting to really enjoy myself. The last one has giant almost out of her dress boobs and they are all in advertising. They eventually trade up for two barista looking guys, but that ends up actually being okay( as I'll explain.)

The first act is a guy with a guitar. He does funny sort of wacky songs like one song was about his job at an advertising place or something. He's like super at ease and seasoned. I look over and fun girl is definitely not feeling him and is starting to get kind of generally belligerent (I still like her though). She sits on the table then knocks a glass off it. A guy comes and cleans it up, as he does she puts her foot out as if to kick him in the balls. He is like a classy dude and kind of shaking his head like wtf. As the night wears on she knocks more stuff over, gets drunker, starts shit with people and eventually ends up passed out in Ellen and Max's bed. I kind of have contact stress or whatever about it and I think Max thinks I know her or something. Her friends for some reason pretty much abandoned her.

There are a bunch of dancers who are all in ridiculous shape and one of them up and starts performing. She is kind of soccer mom ish but very attractive and does an improv sort of thing, even taking requests from the audience, (someone calls for push ups which she does with ease) other people join in but not me. Next, Max played some avant garde ish keyboard thing and Ellen did interpretive dance, kind of like in that Gumby episode. It was compelling I'd say.

We're really on a roll as Preggy Peggy AKA Angela comes on and Ellen and another extremely hot dancer do more awesome gyrations (I'm wicked cultured). PP uses a delay thing to make a loop of something she's doing into a microphone, like a weird whisper or something, then have some high pitched tones over that, then she had a megaphone and would say menacing stuff amidst the me gawking at the dancers.
Some kind of oscillator or something.

The last guy twiddled some knobs around trying to find something and never seemed to find it, plus he had no lesbians. It was hard to complain though. Meanwhile, tensions were rising with the drunk girl who by now was passed out in the hosts' bed, which had solved the problem for a while but then they had to get her out when the thing was over. It was an amazing night though, one I wish I had dressed more appropriately for (I held by baseball cap in my hand the whole time). Unfortunately Ellen informed me it was the last such event they were having because they were moving or something or maybe she just wanted me to think that. Did I mention they had FREE BEER??

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Nikita primer/ quasi article


"While Vladmir Putin is busy jerking off to Pussy Riot youtubes...Shooting across the sky like... cold war missiles..."

Excuse me, I was trying to imagine how a real writer would start this. Anyway, a while back I was looking on youtube for Top 40 in different countries. I wanted to see what was going on out there, maybe stumble across another Tiger Girls or something. One of the first things I came across was this visually captivating if musically basic Ukrainian number:

I was impressed. I really liked how

1. It confirmed my view of Russia,

2. featured hot girls AND...

3. was pretty good too. I searched around a bit then found an article on them which led me to another, even better video

I watched it again and again. It was definitely another hit though I gradually noticed that there are about 12 million jump cuts in it. My interest was officially piqued. "Bite" (the English translation) had all the soft core appeal of the first video but was kind of classy at the same time. It also brought out more of their unique, supermodel sort of goofiness. It's crazy too, with the quail eggs and the fish and everything.

I wasn't all that wild about some of their subsequent videos like Avacado (which is, I think, a parody of food as porn imagery videos like "Bite"? or maybe not who knows). Then, at some point, fan favorite Yulia (the one in the white dress) left. It seemed like all was lost. I even thought I recognized one of them behind the cash register at my local Russian supermarket, but lo and behold ....

They're back. or some of them are (it's complicated). Daisha, who got all her hair shaved off in the Avacado video, looks amazing. True to form: the song is called Blue Dress and they are all wearing black dresses. Ukrainian humor I guess.

Most of my Russian neighbors are kind of shady, but the wives are relatively hot. just thought I'd throw that in there. google away for nudy pics if you wish there are a number of them. Daisha was in Russian Playboy. or you could just pause the last video pretty much anywhere.